we were talking about guns at the luncheon after bill jrs father had diedand

he had discovered his dads gun in the dresser just one bullet and a hole in

the dresser where once and we all laughed about this he had accidentally

discharged the weapon while trying to unload it probably killed all the

socks in the drawer haha and then marji shared about how her dad one time

insisting this things not loaded shot a hole in the kitchen door her mothers

arms crossed i told you so and the holes still there to this day and so i turn to

my dad and say so do we even know where all your guns are and we laugh

haha because we know theyre all under the bed the long guns anyway under

the bed in the master bedroom where nobody sleeps anymore except me when i

visit but what about the pistols i ask how many pistols did we find anyway

when we cleaned out grandpas house unpacking boxes of ledgers and bottles

of that whiskey with his name on it and the things from his bank office and my

dad said quieter several he said dad gave me his pistols sometime after

mother died and he told me here i dont need to have these around i dont

know you said looking at your beer depressed maybe but he didnt want

to have them around and then i remembered how we found that one a long

time later still unpacking boxes it was small maybe what i thought a

derringer was but i dont really know what a derringer is really at the bottom

of a box i pulled it out asked whats this probably a gun I remember you said

then and it was wrapped in dark leather soft as an old womans skin its

grey heft warm       as if hed just been holding it