the first time I had sex

I heard voices in the hall

and risked everything to listen

 

you smiled, smushed your face on my face;

decided what to do with my body

I was limp

I was listening

 

the girls in the hall seemed so lovely

having normal conversations:

“what classes are you taking?”

 

feeling trapped in here, with you

I wished that I was water

or to do things that I wanted